For those of you, (i.e. all of you), who don't know, I used to live in a very large house. It had a pool and a play room and a cool basement, but in my Junior year of high school, it imploded while we were away on vacation.
Yes, imploded. Our house literally collapsed in on itself while maintaining it's structure. The ceilings came down. all due to good ol' new england weather freezing the pipes. With the water totally frozen, as soon as it warmed up, everything cracked and burst from water pressure and eroded the ceilings and walls. The heating system died and many things were lost. We live in my old grandparents house now which is nice but has terrible, TERRIBLE wallpaper and is most likely haunted.
Today I am going back to the imploded house. It's been 7 years in repair, which is unfortunate. There is no way we can fix it ourselves but my mother is convinced we can. We're working on my old bedroom today after we've pretty much got the downstairs floor set up. The room is in disarray and it's likely infested with critters or some shit considering our attic and walls to the outside are filled with holes from the implosion. Everytime I look at my gigantic king bed that I bought with my own money, covered in dust and probably mildew (too big to fit in our current residence) I get so overwhelmed and bummed out. I don't see how this house can be fixed and I feel like the more finances we pour into keeping it is equal to the amount we could have had to have professionals fix the water and the ceilings and the lighting and heating. It could have been fixed years ago but pure pride keeps my family from letting anyone see the house in disarray. Our current house is a mess because of them and no one is allowed inside. Not my friends, not Louis, not anyone. Unless everything is perfect, no one can see us and I think its absolute rubbish.
I hope very soon that I can save about $15000. And what I want to do with that $15k isn't buy a car, or a new apartment, it's to fix this goddamn house so my family can move back into it. And by my family I mean just Billy and Mom and Dad. I don't really care because I'll be moving out soon anyway. Even though $15k can't cover all of the damage done, it's a good start. Maybe I'll hire hoarders too. My family clings to sentiment and need to psychologically break away from it. No one is going to use or need my ballet tutu from first grade or my little hat from when I was 2. No one is going to need my broken bracelets or my brothers from middle school or my 5th grade essay. So let's toss it or sell things that are sellable.
The rationale of this place confuses me. I get so irrevocably frustrated.
But today I'm going over and working on this house, going through things while my mom asks "do you want this? should we keep this?" and when I say "no, toss it" am met with objection. "But this is your childhood! It's so cute!" or "you drew this in preschool!" and I have to suck it up and deal with it. Hopefully with enough repetition, I can convince her that we need to just get rid of everything and start over if we ever want to live in that house again.
No comments:
Post a Comment